CADLY DIATRIBES

View Original

THE LAST (DECENT) SUPPER

Beezl-Lu pushed back from the table, his movements acknowledging his over-indulgence, each one an effort for awhile. A satisfied grin played about his countenance while he shuffled slowly to the ornately carved golden chair in the corner of the the immense room.

He plopped down, propped his feet on the matching footstool, rested his hands on his furry red stomach, before rubbing it contentedly a couple of times and echoing forth a huge belch.

He had to credit Ras - the gray haired little primitive had been outdoing himself since being assigned the daily selection of dinner meat from Jehov-Al's precious orb form. In the old days mealtimes had been such a hassle, always having to scrounge for something worthy of his palate. He never had enough to eat as Jehov-Al watched the farm very closely, taking it personally when Beezl-Lu selected a choice cut. His idealistic little brother believed the inhabitants of the orb capable of evolution, and found it improper to find them on the dinner menu.

That was when the orb farm was Jehov-Al's pet project, lately his attention was elsewhere, leaving Beezl-Lu to feed as he saw fit. At first, after Jehov-al started losing interest in the farm, Beezl-Lu took the inhabitants offered him. He'd found most cuts less than appetizing though, so had begun letting Ras drum up volunteers for his dinner plate. And Ras was succeeding very well of late.

It had been a stroke of genius assigning the diminutive one the task, Beezl-Lu thought while idly picking his teeth with his tail. He couldn't remember being so well nourished for so long, though it was certain he could if he thought about it long enough, after all life had been long and eventful.

At any rate, he mused, letting forth another foul smelling belch, he must remember to do something for Ras in the future to show appreciation for such a well filled belly. Perhaps he could have Ras for dinner. He smiled at the thought. Ras could probably appreciate the significance of the gesture. Beezl-Lu knew he would enjoy it. The smile grew to a leer.

Beezl-lu's reverie was broken by the entrance of Jehov-Al. Beezl-Lu found him intolerable most of the time, though there had been a time when his blanched brother had retained a small sense of humor and they'd been able entertain each other for a few hours. Beezl-Lu allowed himself the trace of a smirk remembering the fun they'd had with one of the orb farm dwellers awhile ago.

They'd conducted tests to determine which brother was the inhabitants' favorite. Jehov-Al had walked around smugly for weeks after the inhabitant - chosen entirely at random - had shown him favor, ever after all the abuse Beezl-Lu had heaped upon the poor animal in Jehov-Al's name.

Yes it had been a most interesting diversion, regardless of the outcome. It was a pity Jehov-Al no longer enjoyed such games. He always became so defensive when they were mentioned anymore.

"Been devouring more of your so-called nourishment again brother? " Jehov-Al questioned barely hiding the sarcasm in his tone.

"What of it? A body has to eat, do they not?"

"Burt why always these? Many things are just as nourishing. But no, like always you have to do what is expressly forbidden of you, always dipping into the orb farm."

Beezl-Lu threw back his head, nearly knocking it against the ornate, serpentine headrest, and roared with laughter, "Forbidden to me? By who? You?"

Another fit of laughter seized Beezl-Lu, causing him to smash his head this time, and to wrap his arms around his copper-wooled belly. "Other things may be just as nourishing, but not nearly as appetizing as the delectable mouthpieces it's been by pleasure to enjoy lately," Beezl-Lu panted, trying to regain his breath. "Yes indeed, my kind-hearted, mush-brained, animal-loving little brother, you just can't stand it can you?"

"Of course I can't stand you devouring something I've worked long and hard to nurture and bring into bloom, just so you can fill your bottomless pit of a stomach," Jehov-Al hissed from between clenched teeth, his normally fair face turning as red as Beezl-Lu's distended stomach. "How would you feel if you'd spent a significant amount of time building something only to have me come and decimate it in a quarter of the time it took to build it?"

"Dear little brother," Beezl-Lu started while rubbing his recently smashed head, "I've hardly decimated it, a few cuts of meat here and there. Besides, you know I have no creative ambitions, therefore I can't even imagine the emotions your destruction would emit from myself. I would probably join you however. It would probably provide a small amount of of useful, if not interesting entertainment, providing the flooding was any indication. You do remember how much we both enjoyed that don't you?" the leer creeping back across Beezl-Lu's face as he spoke.

Jehov-Al's polished marble complexion paled at the thought. It had been a long time ago, but not so long to dull the memory of the sleepless nights he'd spent hearing their pitiful, mournful wails, begging him to help. At least he imagined they'd been begging him.

That was when he'd thought his little farm had outlived its potential, the result of persistent chiding by Beezl-Lu. Eventually Beezl-Lu convinced him it would provide a good diversion, as well as an end to the project, to flood the farm and observe the species in their death throes.

Beezl-Lu, possessing the kind of mind he did, took charge of the flooding. He determined a slow death more entertaining, so he started the small trickle which became a flood.

Jehov-Al had come to his senses in time - though not before Beezl-Lu had destroyed the majority of his creation - showing one of the small creatures how to save itself and its mate. The reproducing had begun again then.

Though the orb had reached beyond optimal capacity now, Jehov-Al, haunted by those sleepless nights, couldn't bring himself to sacrifice even a few for the good of the many. They'd started dying of their own accord now anyway - in staggering numbers recently.

They were small insignificant life forms, but life forms nonetheless. He couldn't bear to sit around and watch what he had fostered to life twice be devoured by his narcissistic brother, who claimed their significance only as a first course.

"Ah but now I see I've got your thoughts straying from the original topic," Beezl-Lu said reclining further in his awesome chair, twirling his tail nonchalantly in a large circle.

Beezl-Lu was gloating again Jehov-Al noticed, just as he did after filling his stomach anymore.

"I was saying you can't stand it that after all this time I've finally found a use for that ridiculously juvenile hobby you've insisted on indulging for so long, even though ostensbily you've reach maturity."

Jehov-Al turned and stood facing his brother's chair, the anger welling in him , evidenced by his upturned plumage and clenched fists. He used to be able to keep his temper in check and such a comment wouldn't have raised the slightest irritation, but it had been getting harder and harder to tolerate Beezl-Lu's constant gloating lately, especially since Jehov-Al had started feeling less needed by the farm. It seemed to function quite well without his intervention, which is why he'd turned his attention to other projects, until realizing it had drawn the attention of Beezl-Lu's palate again.

"It's not ridiculous. This species has the capacity for ethical evolution," Jehov-Al said, mildly surprised how well he contained himself.

"Your senses of observation desert you, as always when considering one of your pet projects. By always trying to find the positive you evade reality, little brother. 

"These creatures' globe grows more fetid daily, Usually all I can do to traverse within a few yards of it, They destroy each other randomly. There's no reasoning behind it that you or I can discern, they simply enjoy conflict. They fight so much Ras' fishing expeditions would be unnecessary were my palate less discriminating, and my appetite not so massive, I could sit back and snack on the fruit of their destruction. Would preclude keeping that pesky little Ras creature around, However, then natural selection would ensure that the tastier morsels would escape my gourmet taste, which as you realize, isn't fitting for one who deserves only the best of pleasures."

Jehov-Al fidgeted around the room during Beezl-Lu's vision of the farm, now he stopped and looked his brother in the eye, "Yes, which raises a point I've meant to discuss with you for sometime now. The genocide to which you refer couldn't have anything to do with you could it?"

Beezl-Lu smiled his  'what-influence-could-I-have' smile, before shrugging his massive red shoulders. "Surely you realize I wouldn't put those poor pitiful animals on the path to genocide, even if I thought they possessed the capacity for it. Would be counter-productive to my interests, and if there's only one thing we agree on, which wouldn't surprise me, it's that I never do anything against my own interests, especially where the dinner entree is concerned."

Jehov-Al strode towards the pedestal where the orb farm was situated, rapidly fluttering his dove-like wings, as he always did when excited or agitated. He stopped and stared into the orb while Beezl-Lu spoke. Then he wheeled around abruptly, the red color of frustration in his face contrasting sharply with his otherwise alabaster appearance.

"You tried to get me to kill them off before, why wouldn't you do it again?"

"That was before I realized their delectability, you know that."

"Then why, pray tell , have they suddenly started killing themselves off in such great numbers. Out of a favor to you, so you don't have to scrounge for supper?"

Jehov-Al's naivete amused and irritated Beezl-Lu at the same time.

"'Those beasts have been killing themselves like there was no tomorrow ever since I've been observing them--"

"Eating them you mean," Jehov-Al interrupted.

"Whatever," Beezl-Lu said, sliding down even further in the great chair, before echoing forth a huge belch, this one more putrid than the last. "At any rate, it only seems more of them are being killed now because there's more of them to die remember, that stench-ridden globe has already reached maximum capacity, more are going to die now than before. It's just natural. Actually, you should applaud me. I'm insuring the species longevity by keeping their numbers down."

Jehov-Al, who once again stood by the orb farm pedestal, turned back and faced his brother, a sarcastic smirk playing about the comers of his mouth.

"Right. Why is it though that I can't believe you're without blame? You must have tampered with their society somehow, introduced some element to make them so hostile to one another." 

Beezl-Lu rose slowly, and with great effort, and shuffled back across the room to join his brother by the orb farm. He peered in absent-mindedly, scratching his posterior with one long nail.

"Actually, they're fighting over you, near as I can tell, though it's hard to be sure with their nondescript gruntings and all. I can barely understand Ras, and he's eloquent as far as they're concerned. No, I think they're fighting over you. I'm simply the losers reward."

Jehov-Al turned and stared in disbelief. "Whatever are you talking about? You know I haven't interfered in their society for a long time, that I decided to let nature run its course."

Beezl-Lu nodded in assent. "Which it seems to be doing. Though they're basically simple creatures, not to mention insignificant, they need to justify their petty existence, so they delude themselves into believing they'll be rewarded by you provided they live their lives according to your doctrines. Problem seems to

be that they just can't quite get together on just exactly what your doctrines are. They try to solve their disagreements with violence, the results of which, inevitably, end up sauteed on my plate," Beezl-Lu explained as he lumbered back towards his huge chair.

Jehov-Al plopped down at the base of the pedestal, and put his head between his hands, while his dove-like wings fluttered uncontrollably. "Is that what's happening to them? I meant to simply give them some basic species survival rules, nothing hard and fast, nothing worth fighting over. Now they're killing themselves because of them? That means I'll be responsible for their extinction. And to think I was just trying to give them the opportunity to achieve the ethical advancement we have. Once I saw their little machines pop up I thought they were on the right road. Now they use those machines to annihilate each other in my name?"

The hint of a tear crept into the corner of Jehov-Al's eye. Beezl-Lu was speechless for one of the few times in his long life. He hadn't expected his explanation to set well with his little brother, reality rarely did. He had hoped for a small difference of opinion since he enjoyed a good after-dinner argument on occasion.

Though Beezl-Lu found Jehov-Al's righteousness unbearable, his self-pity would undoubtedly prove more wearing.

"Lighten up Jehov, They haven't wiped themselves out yet. That globe is still teaming with insects. You should find solace in that you've allowed something to survive for this long, which everyone else deemed worthless, and a waste of time and energy. In their own limited comprehension, they've experienced your presence, though they've managed to demean you personal ideals beyond belief. They've evolved this far, if you can call it that, because you've been persistent with them. Maybe someday they'll evolve enough to be considered higher life forms, though personally I doubt it, and will be disappointed by it, since they would be banished from the table then, I surely wouldn't eat so well. Just don't start blaming yourself for their genocide before it's happened."

Jehov-Al sat upright suddenly, ceasing his constant wing fluttering.

"You might be right. Perhaps I can remove those ideas I inadvertently gave them from their collective consciousness before it's too late."

Beezl-Lu let a smirk slide across his face. "What happened to letting nature take its course? There's no need to get frantic, they're not going anywhere, with a few delectable exceptions," he added rubbing his already growling stomach with a three-fingered hand.

"Let me repeat myself. Though they possess a limited technology they're incapable of committing genocide without intervention, simply because they're too numerous for their primitive means."

Jehov-Al shook his head violently. "No I must begin at once, I've probably delayed too long already." Jehov-Al stood up abruptly, his right wing, which had begun to flutter again due to his agitated state, caught the edge of the pedestal causing the orb to slide off. At that same instant, a hundred tiny lights flickered across the orb's surface. As the globe fell it glowed brightly red.

As Jehov-Al bent to catch it, a foot from the red and white checkered floor the orb exploded, showering Jehov-Al with the containing glass.

"Course I could be wrong," Beezl-Lu muttered, rising from his chair and padding towards the vast doorway. "Better get Ras up here, looks like it's going to be my last decent supper for awhile."